Hi, I'm Tim

I'm an artist living and working along the diminutive seacoast of New Hampshire. I like toys, fast food, surfing, and making things that are simple from a new perspective.

Posts

  • May 14, 11:40 PM

    New New England

    My latest work is a collection called “New New England,” a modern set influenced by traditional American craft aimed at connecting consumers with the source of their products, bringing maker and user closer together.

    I firmly believe that consumers deserve deeper connections to the places and the people their products come from and that our emotional ties, nostalgia, and pride associated with our material things are what makes them worth having. At that, every design is produced end-to-end within New England in collaboration with true craftsmen and craftswomen who imbue their objects with all the love and respect that honest hand-work is capable of.

  • April 26, 10:37 AM

    Braid Dead Rug 2010

    100% hand-braided, hand-laced wool

    Dimensions: 96” x 84”

    A modern pop icon paired with a tradition of technique. This is a thick, double-sided, wool rug that will without a doubt last a lifetime. A modern heirloom. This rug is made by the extremely skilled staff at the County Braid House in Tilton, NH: countrybraidhouse.com

    Made to order in custom colors, or ask what colors we have in stock.

    Price available on request.

  • April 26, 10:35 AM

    Crested Comb-back Chair 2010

    Domestic maple, milk paint

    Dimensions: 34” x 16” x 16” (18” seat height)

    An understated, three-legged wooden chair with a sash of color that extends from slightly above to just below the seat. An exploration of the straight-forward joinery found in a classic Windsor and how the form can be pared down and modernized.

    This chair is made by Fred Chellis of Little River Windsors in Berwick, ME: littleriverwindsors.com

    Made to order in custom colors, or light cream and charcoal in stock.

    Price available on request.

  • April 26, 10:33 AM

    Sweetser Lamp 2010

    Locally sourced and hand-pounded black ash, textile-covered cord, plastic socket

    Dimensions: lamp shown: 52” x 16” diamter

    A peaceful, woven lamp made in the tradition of the basket-making Sweetser family of Northern New Hampshire. Solid ash legs incorporated into the weave turn the basket into a lampshade and the textile-covered cord informs the object as a modern light.

    This lamp was lovingly made, from tree to finished product, by Bill and Sherry Gould of Bradford, NH: westernabenakibaskets.com

    Made to order in custom dimensions.

    Price available upon request.

Posts

  • April 26, 03:20 PM

    Crayon Rings 2009

    This project began as a very simple solution to the theme of “color” for a show sponsored by the American Design Club. Since then the product has taken off and is sold in shops, museums, and galleries all over the world such as the Future Perfect in Brooklyn, the Tate Gallery in London, Oye Modern in Australia, The Norweigan Centre for Design and Architecture in Oslo, Handmade in Switzerland, the list goes on.

    Sold in multiple color assortments and a universal size range, the Crayon Rings have proven to be a product with true mass appeal. They seem to hit a nostalgic and happy spot for so many different types of people, and that makes me happy.

    For wholesale information please email me directly: timothyliles [at} gmail.com

  • April 26, 03:17 PM

    I've spent some time thinking about you today. 2007-ongoing

    A theme I’m always working towards is the idea of a person or a thing being everything to everyone. A few years ago I tried to write a very unspecific and innocuous message that could be applied to everyone I saw in a vaguely positive way. I began giving out these business cards to strangers without saying anything else or giving them time to respond to me directly. I continue to give the cards out without any specific goal or end in mind. If you’d like one, email me and I’d be happy to mail it to you.

  • April 26, 03:16 PM

    Shoestring settee 2008

    This was a project completed for 225 Forest, which is a store in Laguna Beach, CA bringing all the action sports products from Nike, Hurley, and Converse into one retail location. The brief from Converse was to simply create a piece of furniture which is compatible with their brand. The final result is three found chairs whose forms are very different from one another, brought together into one object by a skin of hundreds of feet shoelace.

  • April 26, 03:00 PM

    Quick and dirty 2009

    Another tenet of good design that I’m constantly chasing is simple manufacture. This stool was made in a few short hours, from conception to completion, with found objects as well as common materials bought at a hardware store. The unique form of the seat comes from pouring cement into a bucket and the joints between the seat and the legs were made simply by sinking the tops of the legs into the wet cement. The objects used were the casting bucket, an axe handle, a small shovel, and a rake handle. 

  • April 26, 01:57 PM

    Teaching boys to be men 2008

    I continue to be interested in shared experiences and shared nostalgia. This is a refurbished pellet gun which represents an early rite of passage. It’s a personal piece which many people won’t immediately relate to but I wanted to take an object which is inherently childish and mature at the same time and enhance those elements even more by presenting it in sophisticated materials and finishes and include a message that is very clearly delivered to someone perhaps too immature to handle the responsibility. The metal components were found and chromed, the stock is hand-carved maple with laser-etched details.

  • April 26, 01:33 PM

    Be Well 2005

    This chair was the premier example from a series titled “Be Well.” The aim of the project was to explore something we all generally want: to be well, then take it to an extreme that might make us question that desire. The form and materials of the chair are all carefully selected to be at once familiar and off-putting. The simple, blond wood is familiar in a domestic setting, but the crepe sanitary paper has a home in the doctor’s office. The user is meant to advance the roll and tear off the excess for a clean sitting surface every time. For someone like my father, an extreme germophobe, this is a practical solution to a reasonable problem. To most people, however, it’s just a bit much.

Posts

  • May 08, 01:30 PM
  • May 08, 01:24 PM

    Contact

    email: timothyliles@gmail.com

    phone: (401) 338-0167

    studio address: 209 Concord Way Portsmouth, NH 03801

  • May 01, 11:58 PM

    About

    Timothy’s approach to design is both conceptual and highly tactile. His work is guided by the idea that best design is not overwrought; it is merely simple from a new perspective. As his projects are more likely to materialize on a pair of sawhorses than on a PC, he operates under the premise that our technology-saturated age has elevated the status of handmade goods to new levels of desirability. What was once considered inefficient is now luxurious. He firmly believes that users deserve deeper connections to the places and the people their products come from, that our emotional ties, nostalgia, and pride associated with our material things is what makes them worth having. At that, every design is produced end-to-end within New Hampshire, or at furthest, the New England region in collaboration with true craftsmen and craftswomen who imbue their objects with all the love and respect that honest hand-work is capable of.

  • May 01, 10:57 PM

    Biography

    Timothy Liles is a New England based designer originally from Long Island, New York. He received a BFA in furniture design from the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) and believes that creating something where there once was nothing is the most magical feeling there is. After five years as a sneaker designer for Converse and with a handful of multi-million pair sellers under his belt, an unexpected but welcome realignment of priorities led Timothy to leave the corporate world and focus on his personal projects.

    On the success of his blog-famed “Crayon Rings” and with furniture projects like the “Shoestring Settee” gaining in popularity, Timothy opened his own studio in late 2009.

    His latest work is a collection called “New New England,” a modern set influenced by traditional American craft aimed at connecting consumers with the source of their products, bringing maker and user closer together. He currently resides in Portsmouth, NH and can often be found surfing or wandering the aisles of Home Depot. Like Kevin Garnett, Timothy believes that anything is possible.

Posts

Posts

  • August 23, 01:39 PM

    Malibu

    One thing you won't be hearing from us is the lame apology most small-time bloggers give when they haven't been blogging for a while. As if they weren't giving this stuff away for free anyway. We've been home for three weeks now, which puts the blog 6 or 7 weeks behind, and you can eat it grunge-bag. We haven't FELT like blogging. Here's your GD next post. :)

    We were finally on our way out of the black hole of over-saturated California-ness that is the LA area, though we wouldn't get too far that day. I wanted to stop in Malibu to, of course, surf. There wasn't much swell when we got there in the late afternoon, so I convinced Michelle that we had to sleep in the area that night so I could try in the early morning.




    We stood on a cliff and took these shots. We did a crappy job, though, 'cause it was much nicer being up there than it is to look at these photos. I asked Michelle to pose for one of our "I stand on the right side of the frame, she stands on the left, I hold the camera, she buries her face in my shoulder so as to hide her face, and I try to not make my neck look fat" pictures, but she said she was feeling too ugly and vehemently refused. It had been a rough couple nights.


    Duke Kahanamoku is credited with bringing the sport of surfing to the mainstream. It's tough to beat old pictures of him. Whoever's in charge of his licensing agreements, though, could be doing a better job. That night we ate at "Duke's Barefoot Bar" in the 'Bu - annoying nickname which Michelle and I made fun of quite a bit. It's a pretty crummy but not terrible chain of restaurants in California and Hawaii. We ate a giant pile of nachos, drank some Hawaiian beer (Primo, it was watery piss beer, terrible) and got a tip from the bartender (he was from New Hampshire! We got free dessert!) on where to park the van that night to sleep. It was a nice dark side road next to a park. Not a bad night's sleep.


    I got up early the next day and drove the van down to the pier to check the surf, with Michelle and Freddie still sprawled out on the bed. It was foggy and a bit yucks out in the water so we parked and went back to sleep, waiting for the sun to get up a little higher. We awoke to a Japanese man puking on our van. Yep. Puking right on our van. The tire, to be fair, and he did actually come back with a bottle of water to wash it off. Asians. Bad things happen when you hide in a car so well that it occurs to no one that there might actually be someone in there.


    The picture above is Surfrider Beach. I mean, I guess that's what it's called. I never actually heard anyone use that name. Or maybe I did but forgot 'cause it's a pretty stupid name. You can see how the waves rather famously break at three different points. Super long rides. A little piece of surf history there. Cool. I went out and surfed terribly. It was intimidating being there and all the guys were pretty aggro. Oh well, next time.


    Michelle took some pictures of some dying sea life! Apparently she tried to snap a photo of all the surfboards and other surfy looking things accumulating on the beach throughout the morning, but even those dudes were sorta aggro, so no go. Maybe it was just my secret optimism and naiveté, or maybe it was all the beach/surf movies from the 60s and 70s, but I think I imagined Malibu being a little friendlier. Too rich, too cranky. But that's just our passing, one day and a half snap judgment, what do we know?
  • August 05, 08:46 AM

    Up the coast

    Not having driven up the California coast before, I think our expectations were more on the side of scenic and sunny rather slow and trying. There were just too many places to stop, too many surf spots to check, and too little places to park the van for the night. That may sound like a complaint, and maybe it is, but keep in mind we had been on the road for 6 or 7 weeks at this point. We got punched in the face with so much gorgeous landscape and coastline that this turned into the part of the trip where we started going numb. Again, I sound pretty negative but I prefer to paint the whole picture. Really, the coast was incredibly amazing, so pretty, blah blah, good work California you win the prize.


    For (my) silly business reasons, we had to hang around the outskirts of LA for another night. Another absurd night. We drove to Santa Monica, took advantage of happy hour, and decided there was nothing in town we wanted to eat. As lots of people have, Michelle and I had heard about the Kogi Korean BBQ to-go truck, on the Food Network or the Travel Channel, which parks itself among the other trucks in Venice. So we drove back over to Venice. There were this many people there. Plus a million more on the street. Too. Much.


    Short rib burrito, spicy pork tacos, kimchi quesadilla, 4 Kogi sliders, grape Crush. Too. Much. Everything was so delicious. Juicy, spicy, hand-held. Perfect. Really some of the best food we had.

    We drove BACK to Santa Monica that night for sleepy time. After some argument and a much too long trip out to an unwelcoming Home Depot parking lot, we settled on parking in a street spot in front of a church. We figured the church will either be super quiet at night, or crazies will be milling about. I'll let you guess which circumstance we encountered. After parking, of course, Michelle had to pee. Back onto the street for a bathroom search, with brand new results this time: a 24 hour FedEx/Kinkos. Awesome.

    This is the photo you're getting of the Santa Monica Pier and you'll like it, suckers.



    We had to be BACK in Venice by lunch - I told you our time here was a bit absurd - but we had time in the morning to walk through the farmers' market near the promenade. It's California, so of course it was absolutely lovely. Also, we saw Molly Ringwald. She signed our book. Just kidding we don't have a book. These guys above were slinging raw oysters so oooobviously Michelle and I had to partake, as we are oyster fiends. We were not disappointed as we may have been in Louisiana.

    A bit more running around, a discussion as to whether we're making a huge mistake and should we get on a plane and go home... a decision to keep going, then back on Route 1.
  • August 03, 12:34 PM

    Los Angeles Part 2

    The next day we woke up, still stuffed with ramen and followed Christina to the Griffith Observatory for a "hike."

    In New England, a hike is involved and means you have boots and walking sticks and energy bars. In California, it's a walk up a hill that you can do in flip flops. Oh California, why are you so awesome.




    We got home, quite dusty, and before we knew it, it was time to get on the road again. We thanked Jon & Christina for their hospitality and did some last minute sightseeing.

    We first decided to go to the LA MOCA, which turned out to be in the neighborhood of one of Jon's recommendations - Wurstkuche.



    We got a rattlesnake & rabbit (with jalapenos) and a duck & bacon. Both sausages came with grilled onions and peppers on the side and your choice of condiments. We also split the delicious fries with special dipping sauces.


    After eating wayyy too much we checked out the MOCA. It's a smallish museum with a few different branches but a lot of great work by California artists. You should definitely check it out if you are in the area, but in my opinion, not enough Ruscha.

    Now, to make it up the coast!
  • August 03, 12:06 PM

    Los Angeles Part 1

    LA is another one of those towns that people either love or they hate. I've wavered between the two, going from love to hate, and now finally, to the thought that it's great for a visit, but that I'm not a "lifer," as they say.

    Our host was the awesome and magnificent Jon Lee, who I've known since college through my attempts to become more culturally aware. The best part about hanging out with Jon in his town is that he knows the delish food spots.

    We got in late and Jon whisked us to a great Korean place, of which no pictures exist, because we demolished the food - some short ribs, some delicious fish, which I can't recall the name of right now (mackerel?), and of course the requisite small plates that you get with the meal (if I were a more Asian Asian, perhaps I would know the name to these, regardless, they included kimchi). We stopped for dessert in Chinatown, where we got a tapioca drink, a Mango shaved ice, and through some weird English translation (red bean rice balls), a giant bowl of hot red bean soup with these sweet rice balls in it filled with black sesame. Our first bowl came with a hair in it, but don't worry, the second one was all clean.

    The next day, on Christina's tip, we went to Silverlake to get coffee at Intelligentsia. All barbs at hipsters aside, these baristas know how to make some delicious coffee. We then met Jon and Anna (just in from Oakland) for lunch at Porto's in Burbank, which is this insanely gigantic Cuban bakery and eatery. Between the four of us, we split potato balls, a tamale, a Cuban sandwich, a roast pork sandwich, a giant salad with supplemental Tapatio hot sauce as dressing, and even though Jon claimed to have "restrained" himself, like half a dozen cheese rolls and various other baked goods. Needless to say, we were stuffed after that.

    Timmy and I then checked out Chuck Jones:An Animator's Life from A to Z-Z-Z-Z at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. A lot of amazing backgrounds and original sketches were there and it was really great. Plenty of old cartoons that you would certainly remember if you saw the storyboards. No pictures were allowed, unfortunately.

    Then, in true LA fashion, we did some shopping, checking out various furniture and design stores, and the giant Opening Ceremony after being shut down at Huntington Gardens, who had run out of tickets for the day

    We headed back to Jon's where hours flew by because we were mesmerized by the Mall Cops show on TLC. Before we knew it, it was late and we were hungryyyyyy. We decided to go to Daikokuya, which Jon said is one of the best ramen joints in LA. It was like 9 pm on a Tuesday and we figured that it wouldn't be crowded... totally wrong. We get there and they tell us it's going to be an hour and a half for a table of four. Bummer. So we instead go to another ramen place in Japantown with decent ramen and delicious fried rice. As we are sitting in this ramen joint, Jon says that we should go back to Daikokuya. Basically, all of us called the idea stupid and then immediately started thinking about going. So we get back to Daiko and our names are at the top of the list. What else would we do? So they called our name and we went inside to get our second batch of ramen in less than an hour.


    MMMMMMMMM


    Notice the only person to look upset at all that ramen is Tim. Happy and wayyyy too full, we went home, where I got to see my old junior high friend Kiran for a few minutes.
  • July 28, 07:31 PM

    The Road to LA

    One bad thing about having a legit place to stay at night is that we seem to be more slow in the mornings, since we don't have to stealth pack and quickly find a place to pee. That was the case the morning we left San Mateo and started heading to my favorite creeper's (Jon Lee) city of residence (Los Angeles).

    We stopped in San Clemente (questionably; we don't remember) for lunch and some internetting at our favorite chain for reliable wifi, Starbucks. If you know us, you know we looooove Mexican food and we picked the place that had no English menu and a line at 11am. I got my usual, lengua, and we think Tim had carne asada. We rounded out our solid lunch selections with giant horchatas and a cheese quesadilla.



    Aghhh so delicious. We need a place like this in NH. I mean, I love me some Chipotle but let's be forreal here...

    So after lunch we started driving up the Pacific Coast Highway, which meant we hit all the big beach towns - Laguna, Newport, Huntington. Unfortunately for Tim, it was super windy and there was no surfing to be had in these surftowns. Sorry Timmy.

    We did take Fred, who often just stays in the van all day while we run about, to the Huntington dog beach. We've mentioned this a million times, but Fred loves the beach. There was no exception to this one, which is an awesome beach, filled with people hanging out with their pups and enjoying the surf. Here's another standard picture of Fred on a beach.


    After that, we stopped at a few awesome surf shops, which is one part of Tim's surf love that I wholeheartedly support. We had to visit the classic Katin surf shop, obvi. Katin is the company that basically invented board shorts (as we know them) in the late 50s. They are made of heavy canvas and pretty good looking. We also stopped by Seal Beach to visit Harbour, who made Tim's yellow longboard. If we had a million dollars, Tim would have bought out the whole store.

    After speaking to Jon, he let us know that we should stay there to wait out that infamous LA traffic, so we stayed for some drinks and apps at 320 Main, where their cocktail schtick is pre-Prohibition drinks. I had an Old Fashioned and Tim had a Moscow Mule served in an awesome copper mug. They have awesome ice cubes (does that sound weird?) and the biggest collection of bitters I've ever seen. Delicious.

    Now, off to our LA adventures!
  • July 28, 10:45 AM

    Camping in San Mateo, surfing at San O'

    Our jaunt through Las Vegas set us off course for San Diego. Not wanting to drive quite that far south just to drive up again, I picked a surf spot I always wanted to paddle out at but never got the chance, San O, and made that our destination.


    It doesn't look like much, June gloom is a real thing in California, but I had a pretty fun surf here.


    Freddie's leash is secured under one of those rocks. That was enough to keep him in one place. He was welcomed to the California coast, though, by being attacked by a guy's small, recently acquired rescue dog. Freddie was pretty bummed and spent the rest of our stay on this beach in the van.


    There are a handful of campgrounds in the area and we found an open slot in San Mateo. While this is not the first time we parked at a campground, it would mark the first time in the trip that we started our own campfire.


    As foreign to us as the gambling and sexual debauchery of Las Vegas is the casual camper's lifestyle. We've gotten pretty good at stealthily parking in dark areas of parking lots and confidently walking to the back of restaurants to use their restroom without purchasing a crumb of food, but sleeping in the dirt and sharing a coin operated shower with hundreds of RVing Americans is just not our cup of tea. On this particular night, however, we got the urge to at least mildly participate. So we bought a log bundle from the campground toll booth, picked up the classic hot dog and s'more ingredients and set about lighting some shit on fire.



    I had done laundry at the Ace before we left but I don't like putting my white tees in the dryer. This is what a crazy person's clothesline might look like.


    We accidentally and very stupidly left our food out overnight. The forest critters ate all of our chocolate and some Doritos. This giant bird came back for breakfast.

    We checked the surf again in the morning. I decided to pass and we started driving north to LA.
  • July 28, 10:13 AM

    Palm Springs (honeymoon)

    There's a certain amount of pressure one puts on oneself to discover new things at every moment during exploratory traveling and this can be an extremely exhausting prospect. We decided to give ourselves a break from the exploration and celebrate our 2 day old marriage in Palm Springs. We stayed at the Ace Hotel. We left the hotel two times for one very specific thing, to get new brakes on the van. The rest of our two night / two day stay there was spent at the hotel restaurant, the hotel bar, the hotel pool, and inside the hotel room with hotel room service. It was absolutely lovely. Below is the lone picture taken poolside in Palm Springs with my cell phone.


    We did not buy any Ace sneakers or Ace board shorts or Ace screen prints of the Ace Hotel. Lots of other guests seemed to be in a buying mood, though. You guys are pretty cool.

    Also, Michelle took these pretty great photos of the wind farms on the way to Palm Springs.



    See you suckers in San Onofre.
  • July 28, 07:41 PM

    The Gun Store, Las Vegas

    We hung out at Sears Auto Center for several hours on June 27 waiting for not just one, but both tie rods in the front of the car to be fixed. As we were finally on our way out, Tim remembered that Damion had told us to go to The Gun Store. I was hard pressed to go since I was very eager to get out of town, but the girls outside told us we could bring Freddie in with us so then I figured, why not.

    So The Gun Store is a place in Las Vegas is a store that you can buy guns at but where you can also shoot various kinds of handguns, automatics, and semiautomatics. Of course, the whole place was crawling with British dudes when we were in there, all of whom were peeing their pants and holding several hundred dollars worth of ammo.

    Timmy chose an AK 47 to fire 25 rounds with, and I went with the ladies' package, which included 20 rounds with a handgun, 25 with the AK 47 and a free t shirt. Pretty good deal, right?

    We waited for a few minutes after picking out ear protection, eye protection, and targets. We got the classic shooting targets, although there were plenty of threatening options (read: non white targets). We could only go in one at a time, so Timmy went in first.

    Our gun pro was a vaguely attractive blonde who was made more attractive by her tattoos and penchant for guns. More attractive or more insane, I'm not sure I remember now. She told us how to hold the gun properly and how to aim and not shoot ourselves or anyone else.

    Timmy was done quite soon, as 25 rounds ain't nothin in an AK 47. I was next and I gotta tell you, three shots into the handgun, I was wondering when it would all be over.

    If you look closely in the second picture, I would like to point out that I in fact got a bullet in the kill zone (kill zone??) of the target. YEA! Also, I wish the picture of me and the AK 47 showed the pink stock of the gun and the picture of Hello Kitty also holding an AK and in protective gear.


    So that was the last of our Las Vegas experience. After having all of that bullet adrenaline rushing through our veins, we got back into ol non threatening Vanpers and drove off into the desert and to our "honeymoon" in Palm Springs!


  • July 26, 11:17 AM

    Las Vegas

    If it's not clear, we aren't what you would deem 'Las Vegas People." Some people like the gambling, the drinking, and the legal prostitution, but well, I'm not so sold on it. But we knew that Route 15 led straight to Vegas, and we also knew that could only mean one thing.

    We were getting married.

    It had started on the way to Zion, when Timmy looked over at me and said, "Will you marry me in Las Vegas?" And I said, "What? No, shut up. That's stupid." Repeat these few lines a couple of times and after I had determined that he was serious, we decided to spend a night and think about it.

    The next day we were on the road as usual and I asked Timmy, "well, should I call my sister?" and he said, "yeah, call her up!." So I called Cinders and told her I needed her in Vegas for a very specific reason (not Blue Man Group tickets). After I hung up with her, Kory (my Brother-in-law) immediately rang to double check if I was "bullshitting" my sister. I told him that I was not in fact bullshitting. They told us they would be there, no matter what!

    At this point we were quite close to the city and decided to stop at the outlets to get the wedding outfits. Timmy didn't quite find anything, but I picked up a blue and gray dress at Calvin Klein. We checked into a hotel courtesy of Cinders and her insane rewards points and booked the chapel. Unfortunately, even though we had a bowtie for Fred, the chapel said no pups allowed. We checked him into Camp BowWow, where he could play with other dogs all day and we could watch on the live webcam. Mainly he just stood in one place with his tail down :(

    We set back out to find rings and potential other outfits, scouring all of the giant indoors fashion malls and even a nice outside one outside of the main strip. This was very tiring and vaguely frustrating, but after dozens of hours and a few Hot Dogs on Sticks we had procured one ladies' ring from Banana Republic (with pyramid studs and worth 10 American Dollars), one men's ring from H&M (5 American Dollars), some wedding sandals for me from Aldo, and a Timmy wedding outfit from Am Appy (American Apparel).

    We got to tell our parents via telephone of our plans and although they were surprised, we did receive their blessings. We also made a late afternoon stop to get our marriage license, which took all of 5 minutes, since we had IDs, $60 cash, and were legal residents (cannot be said for the other two couples there with us). A fun activity could probably be stopping by the license place at 11pm on a Saturday night (they close at midnight).

    As night fell, our guests started to trickle into the airport. Damion was picked up first, after getting the go ahead from his wife, with the caveat that he needed to be home for Zuri's Handy Manny themed 3rd Birthday party. Cindy and Kory came next, and that was all the guests.

    We decided to walk around the Strip and after seeing many giant margarita blenders, stopped into Margaritaville for a 100 oz group blender. Hilarious. While we were there, we enjoyed the house cover band (just kidding, they were embarrassing) ((just kidding again, they didn't even try to hit the high notes in Livin on a Prayer, so that makes them smart)). After Kory got hollered at by a group of ladies (who shouted, BALD GUY! WOOOO) and we were yawning our faces off, Cinders and I went home and the boys stayed out causing trouble til about 5 am.


    The next morning, aka wedding day, we had brunch at Hashhouse A Go Go, had delicious Bloody Marys and Fried Chicken and Waffles. Delicious. They had signed pictures from both Martha Stewart and the guy from Man Vs Food. Very important to go to places endorsed by both of those people. This is their signature chicken and waffles arrangement. As you may have noticed, we took very few pictures in LV, just too much excitement. But, being the fatties we are, we did manage to get a shot of the food. Sigh.

    I had been shirking on flower duties but talked to the concierge and she helped me out big time. I was able to talk on the phone to the florist, who was at the flower market and was able to snag some hot pink peonies, which my mom had planted all along the deck in the backyard. By the time we got back from brunch, my flowers were already there. Thanks Vegas!

    So we all got fancied up and I made sure I had my something old (diamond necklace), something new (outlet dress which I had to fix up a bit the night before), something borrowed (a pearl ring and a brooch), and something blue (toenail polish).


    We hopped into a cab to the Little Chapel of the West and did the damn thing. For being a chapel that has many weddings per day, the pastor was emotive and good at his job. We saw many other wedding parties, many with plenty of guests and actual wedding dresses and bridesmaids, but we preferred our off the cuff style. Our wedding was on the website for a little bit, but I think by now it must be off. Seven minutes after we stepped in, we stepped out a married couple!


    We got a stretch limo and cruised around the Strip for a little bit while drinking a magnum of Cook's and ended our night at Bellagio. We had a few delicious drinks and gambled a tiny bit of money away before we had a glorious buffet. Man, that buffet was awesome.

    Timmy drove Damion back to the airport that very night and to help us celebrate, Vanpy's tie rod broke in the parking lot of the hotel and her right front wheel was all crazy crooked. Cindy and Kory left early that morning and we were left to celebrate our post wedding day by sitting in a Sears Auto Center.

    To our friends who sent their love via Twitter, Facebook, text message, emails, and phone calls last month: thank you! To Cindy, Kory, and Damion: we can't ever thank you enough for making the ridiculous trip to see us. Having you all there made the moment so much more special. We love you guys.
  • July 26, 11:01 AM

    Utah and Zion National Park


    We hadn't planned on going to Utah. Like many states it has a reputation for one thing... with many more things to offer. We found this out at Zion National Park. Pictured above: not Michelle's best drive-by welcome sign photo.


    This lake was called Lone Rock Lake. We think. It might also be called Rip-off Lake, No Shade At All Lake, or Friendly Europeans Scamming the Parks System Lake. Some euros stopped us before we got to the toll entrance and gave us their parking ticket which they were done using. We stayed for about 20 minutes and bounced. We tried to pass on the ticket, but apparently no one trusts a giant green van.


    That rock mound in the middle was called Molly's Nipple. We giggled.


    This is Freddie barking viciously at a herd of corralled buffalo. They stampeded away in fright. Just kidding, they kept eating grass.


    We were lucky to enter Zion National Park through a somewhat back road - a winding route which starts at the top of the canyon and snakes its way down down to the bottom. It was sooo incredibly gorgeous - easily among the best few miles of drive for the entire trip.


    There were a handful of awesome tunnels which went right through the mountains, and they had these windows with views of the canyon.





    As is usually the case, we arrived too late to reserve a spot at campground. So we milled around the visitors' center, drank some of the spring water on tap, and looked at bats. I have an obsession with immersing myself in nearby natural bodies of water, so we also found a spot in the shallow river where I could sit on some mossy rocks and wash my sins away. Ok, not sins so much as the last couple days of grease since we hadn't had the chance to shower for a bit. Michelle was scared of the 2 foot deep creek so she did not partake.

    Like I said, no campground, so we found a dark area of the parking lot to park ol' Vanpers and settle in...


    ...for a couple hours until park security kicked us out. Bummer. We slept on the road just outside the park entrance and re-entered the next day to ride the shuttle bus, NOT hike, and take more pictures.


  • July 26, 11:00 AM

    Grand Canyon, AZ

    We got into the Grand Canyon late at night, which I recommend highly, since that means you don't have to pay your entrance fee. I mean, we have a National Parks pass, so it doesn't really matter, but just to let yall know... early morns and late nights = free park entrance.


    We spent the night in a parking lot right by the visitors center and woke up the next morning to take a hike to the rim. The elevation is about 7000 feet, enough so it got nice and chilly in the van at night. We took a walk with Fred for about a mile to see some nice views.


    The size of the Grand Canyon is almost unfathomable, and definitely worth a trip out to AZ.



    On our way out of the park, we saw a giant elk on the side of the road!


    We also visited The Watchtower, designed by Mary Colter, the same woman who did La Posada.

    The Watchtower at night



    It was undergoing a bit of renovation, but still really nice.

    But, it was time to move on, as always, and we jetted outta there and onwards to Utah!
  • July 26, 10:29 AM

    Hopi Villages or How We Didn't Go to Phoenix

    Michelle and I visited the Hopi villages on First, Second, and Third Mesa. These are all towns within a Hopi reservation in Arizona and they don't allow any pictures. At all. We have enough Kachina dolls and fox pelts, however, to prove we were there.


    Joseph and Janice Day, owners of Tsakurshovi are the sweetest people looking to sell stuff to naive tourists ever - but we didn't learn this until the second time we visited them.

    Ahem.

    On our first occasion in the shop, we were taken off-guard when Joseph berated us a bit for wanting to go to Phoenix. He's quite passionate about the places he feels are really worth seeing on the Colorado Plateau, but we hadn't planned for the 12 week excursion around this relatively small area that he would expect of us. So we felt a little attacked and left the store feeling pretty bummed. But because I can get a bit obsessive, I wasn't ok leaving this negative interaction with an otherwise charming couple hanging out there in the universe. We went back to the shop a couple hours later to explain there may have been a misunderstanding, that we'd like to support their store, and that we'd love for them to tell us where to go in Northern Arizona/ Southern Utah. We left with a detailed map of the area, heavily hand-highlighted by Joseph, and a few hundred dollars worth of desert swag.

    This is how we ended up not going south to Phoenix but rather to the road leading us through Las Vegas. (foreshadowing)

  • July 26, 10:35 AM

    Winslow, AZ (La Posada Hotel)

    Even with a drive through the Petrified Forest and Painted Desert, the ride from Holbrook to Winslow was short. Like, really short. We got to the hotel so early, in fact, that we had no choice but to stop for lunch, once again, at Sonic. I don't know why we go to Sonic so much. We don't like it very much at all, and there is plenty of fast food we prefer over it. Maybe it's the carhop service, but probably not. I think this was actually our last time at this trash basket. The limeades are ok.

    Our friends Chiyo, Ashley, and Zeke put together an amazing NM/AZ guide for us. Thanks, guys! It was so helpful during our time in the desert, and if they hadn't told us about it we probably never would have stopped to spend a night at La Posada Hotel.


    The hotel was the vision of Southwest entrepreneur Fred Harvey and designed by architect Mary Jane Colter. Built in 1929 for the Santa Fe Railway, closed in 1957, and after 40 years it was privately bought and restored to its original beauty. It's an amazing place and we felt lucky to have a chance to spend some time there.






    The interior is gorgeous: classic southwestern without being tacky.


    There's some pretty ok good art hanging, as well. The contrast between the contemporary and classic was really nice. I like this painting of old ladies. Awkward angle.





    There are some great outdoor spaces, too, very peaceful. The Santa Fe Railway still runs through the backyard.

    After Sonic, check-in, and some wandering around the hotel, Michelle and I did we do best. Nap until it's time to eat again.



    We had an amazing dinner at The Turqoise Room, the hotel restaurant. Sweet corn and spicy black bean soup, fried stuffed squash blossoms, a locally raised lamb sampler platter, and elk medallions. Our biggest food splurge of the trip. The restaurant can also pack a lunch for the next day upon request. So for our Hopi village excursion the next morning, we ordered some normal lunch stuff: prime rib and pasta salad. It was tough to check out, we considered another night many times, but decided to move on.
  • July 26, 10:33 AM

    AZ Sights

    Petrified Forest / Painted Desert

    We had to make it work and drive back east to the Petrified Forest from Holbrook so we could waste some time before our check in at La Posada.

    If you are looking for a real forest in the Petrified Forest, you will be sorely disappointed.

    But if you're looking for beautiful scenery and colorful tree rocks, well have I got a place for you.


    Close up of the petrified wood.


    Like many of the places we have been, pictures can do this place no justice.


    Navajo Nation

    We were driving from the Hopi Reservation (more on this location later) to the Grand Canyon, we passed through Navajo Nation. We stopped for McDonalds, because you know, sometimes a bit of McDonalds is comforting. Next door happened to be a park with an awesome skate park. All the kids there were great and fearless and some were too young to be riding around (in my opinion). I tried getting Timmy to go, but he wasn't as eager to get run over by a bunch of BMXs as I was to see it.


    We were still in Navajo Nation when I awoke to the van pulling into somewhere and slowing down. Tim had spotted this from the highway and decided to get a closer look.




    Wish we knew more of the story behind all of this. How badass are the two elderly people?

    However, one of my fave parts of Arizona is the part where no one asked me to show me their papers, even if I was often confused for Native American.
  • July 26, 10:33 AM

    Holbrook, AZ (The Wigwam Motel)


    Some of our readers don't realize that this blog is written in retrospect. We are about 6,000 miles further into our journey than the journal is: a bit further away than we want to be. Although our excuses for this are plentiful and valid, I will spare you and just get on with things. Michelle and I are currently in her hometown of Schaumburg, Illinois, but this blog post is about our brief time spent in Holbrook, Arizona.



    Since the very early planning stages of this journey, we were fixated on staying at this kitschy stucco wigwam motel. Holbrook was really too close to our next destination in Winslow, and there was absolutely no other reason to stop, try as we might to find one. We spent the night anyway. Plaster wigwams!



    To add to the nostalgia, permanently parked and rotting classic cars sat outside each "room." We got Doc Hudson.



    We were surprised to learn that Yelp isn't fully utilized by the locals of this probably once thriving Route 66 town, so we went with the reviews the restaurants themselves lit up in front of their establishments. Best food in town? Ok, can't argue with that. We had a pretty very lousy meal here, but, we really can't say it wasn't the best. We didn't eat anywhere else.



    There were many unexplained fiberglass dinosaurs lurking about town...


    ...and tourist trap gift shops all selling the same trash. This town made us kind of sad so we didn't stick around too long. It will be a short drive to our next stop.
  • July 14, 07:30 AM

    Tinkertown (outside Albuquerque)

    Up to this point, waking up in a Walmart parking lot was a failure of the night before. But after a month on the road, we were (and still are) just happy to find a place to park where we were 99% guaranteed not to get hassled. My good friend Chiyo suggested we have the green chile at Frontier Restaurant.


    Michelle's huevos rancheros and my burrito barely showing in the background. So good! And the green chile was, indeed, amazing.


    Before getting on I-40 (and Route 66) to Arizona, Michelle's nerdy but helpful "Road Trip, USA" book steered us towards the Tinkertown Museum. Kind of like the Orange Show in Houston, it's difficult to explain what Tinkertown really is. From their website:

    "It took Ross Ward over 40 years to carve, collect, and lovingly construct what is now Tinkertown Museum. His miniature wood-carved figures were first part of a traveling exhibit, driven to county fairs and carnivals in the 1960s and '70s. Today over 50,000 glass bottles form rambling walls that surround a 22-room museum. Wagon wheels, old fashioned store fronts, and wacky western memorabilia make Tinkertown's exterior as much as a museum as the wonders within. Inside, the magic of animation takes over. The inhabitants of a raucous little western town animate to hilarious life. Under the big top, diminutive circus performers challenge tigers and defy gravity while the Fat Lady fans herself and a polar bear teeters and totters."

    It'll be easier to show you...


    There are tons of beautiful hand painted signs. This one greets everyone in the parking lot.


    Recycled bottle wall.


    Miniatures in their glass case.


    Sometimes it took a quarter to get the figures moving, sometimes you just had to hold a button...


    So hard to show what this looked like in person, but those guys are about 5 inches high. When you press the button one might move his arm abck and forth like he's moving a checker and the other might just nod.




    Crazy circus!


    A lot of the hand painted signs were pretty awesome inspirational messages. They're all mostly silly cliches, but I always appreciate stuff like this, especially when people believe it wholeheartedly.




    Where we stole our header from... thanks Will Rogers ('s estate).


    This shake with Uncle Sam was a test of the strength of our... personalities? I scored an "uncontrollable," Michelle got "cold fish." I dunno what either one of those mean. We wandered Tinkertown for as long as we could take it then got on the road to some plaster wigwams.
  • July 13, 10:18 AM

    Albuquerque, NM

    We left Elephant Butte well rested and in good spirits, so it was a perfect time for the left rear tire to finally blow out.


    Thankfully, it happened close to an exit (which can be few and far between in NM), and when we pulled into town, there was an abandoned gas station that we pulled into to use for shade while Timmy changed the tire.


    The spare under the van is all rusted out and crazy looking. Rust is just something people don't understand in the desert.


    We stopped at a local fast food chain - Blake's Lotsaburger - for lunch and encountered a common NM question - red or green? They are talking about chili, and in NM, we erred on the side of green.

    We had great green chili cheeseburgers and before we knew it, we were in Albuquerque.

    We hung out in Old Town for a bit and happened to catch a wedding in the little park they have there. But, it was so hot out that we had to seek refuge in a movie theater. I am not joking when I tell you that we had been trying to find a place playing MacGruber since it opened when we were somewhere in the middle of the Eastern seaboard. We found a great two dollar movie theater on the outskirts of Albuquerque proper and snuck Freddie in and all had an AC and popcorn filled late afternoon.

    MacGruber, by the way, is hilarious.

    We had some great beers and then went to one of the coolest places ever -


    The Doghouse! We had awesome chili dogs here (red chili this time), and the food here is definitely more spicy than we are used to in the Northeast.

    We spent the night in the Walmart parking lot, because we do that now, when we have to, and watched a bit of the Princess and the Frog we rented from the Redbox.

    I love our life :)
  • July 12, 09:14 AM

    Elephant Butte, NM

    We left Marfa on June 19, wow that seems like a million years ago.

    Marfa is three hours away from El Paso, which is right on the border with Mexico.


    After a failed attempt to find a Smoothie King, we visited El Paso Saddleblanket, which is some sort of giant wholesaler of Southwestern swag.

    As we drove outta there, we passed right by the border, where we could see the gigantic fence and straight into Juarez.

    Soon, we were in New and not Old Mexico, when the van started shakin something fierce. What was it? The road? The suspension? The tires? I spent a bit driving big circles in a parking lot while Tim tried seeing which wheel was at fault. It was hard to discern, however, so we decided the best thing to do was drive towards Albuquerque and see a mechanic there.

    It was getting late and we were near the Hot Springs. Seeing as it was 100 degrees outside, we had no desire to blast into the springs of hotness but instead, we chose to go to Elephant Butte, a giant man made reservoir of freezing mountain water.

    I wish we had taken some pictures of the hot redneck mess we wandered into, but I will preface it by telling you that it was only 8 dollars to camp anywhere we wanted overnight. Anyways. It was so hot out and we had no a/c, since Vanpers likes to be finicky with it, so we were basically sand off roading to this giant lake. Everyone had their giant RVs parked and set up for probably a week or however they do it. We changed into our suits and started to blast into the water when we noticed that we were getting stared down like no other. Had we breached redneck etiquette by going into the water by other people's campers? There was literally no other way into the water. Still, we went in to the extremely cold water for about 5 minutes while getting death stares. We soon ran away, since it was obvious that we wouldn't be able to park there without some hatred.

    We drove off and tried to explore the area, but soon got stuck when a hard packed road became soft sand without warning. We wandered the trailer park until we found someone with a giant truck to help us. We were barely stuck, so we didn't even need the winch this time. Our new drunk New Mexican friends told us to pay it forward, and we were glad to find kind hearted people in this strange place.

    We went exploring in the other direction now, past the marina, and we found our great spot overlooking the lake.


    We grabbed a late dinner at the only place open in town, a drive in burger joint and decided to order vegetables, fried of course. Our bodies hate us.

    We went back to our extra special campsite and had a great night's sleep.

    Freddie didn't want to leave in the morning, and protested by lying down in the sand far away from the van


    And now, onwards and northwards

  • July 09, 08:55 AM

    The Chinati Foundation

    The Chinati Foundation is on the grounds of an old fort and was founded by Donald Judd in the 70s to permanently display large installations by his art pals and himself. It's really amazing to see these pieces in this kind of scenery and scale. The tour is in two parts from 10 - 12 and 2 - 4



    The buildings remain untouched except for a few changes like cool corrugated roofs and these great quartered doors.


    Donald Judd's 100 Untitled Works in Milled Aluminum



    Some Judd furniture


    James Chamberlain


    Carl Andre's poem


    A few John Wesleys


    This strangely mesmerizing giant copper sculpture called Things That Happen Again: For a This and a That, by Roni Horn.

    Our favorite installation were the Dan Flavins. I've only ever seen small Flavins, but these were in three separate buildings with two sides to each building.





    Ah, the classic set the self timer and run as far as you can trick.


    You can see some of Judd's works in concrete and cottonwoods he planted in the background

    We decided we couldn't leave Marfa without acknowledging Donald Judd and how he influenced the town's growth, so we stopped by the local bookstore and picked this up


    Now, when we are at a loss, we ask ourselves, what WOULD Donald Judd do? We usually can't come up with an answer.
  • July 08, 09:12 AM

    El Cosmico

    El Cosmico is a "hotel" (I use that term loosely) right outside of "downtown" (another loose term) Marfa.


    It's basically an open field dotted with yurts, a giant teepee, a few adorable refurbished trailers, and hammocks.


    A field full of yurts and an example of the amazing clouds and blue skies that are found in West Texas


    Timmy hauling our stuff out to the teepee


    Family picture time! Check out the fire ring in the middle of the tent! We wished we could have lit it, but it was wayyy too hot.

    We found an awesome local bar that night to watch the Celtics/Lakers game 7 and although the C's lost, we left full of Lone Stars, Shinerbocks, and delicious hot dogs



    Even though we had scary bug guests at night, I would highly recommend staying at El Cosmico if you ever find yourself in the Marfs. Unless you have a problem with outdoor showers and toilets. Then maybe you shouldn't stay...
  • July 07, 06:16 AM

    Marfa, TX

    We really loved Marfa, our strange stop in the West Texas desert.

    Our first night there was spent on Main Street in good ol Vanpira. We got into town at about 11, and there wasn't a soul to be seen nor any lights on at all.


    We woke up in the morning and loved what we saw


    We had to stop and do our laundry, but in Marfa, even the laundromat is cool.

    This was our first stop outside of the humidity zone, and it was glorious. We took this chance to take a walk around town




    The Food Shark is a giant bus that serves delicious food, like Marfalafels. Unfortunately they were on vacation when we were there :(

    We got giant horchatas and delicious tacos at Tacos del Norte on our way outta town to see the art installation Prada Marfa.

    The clouds on the way there were amazing.



    Prada Marfa is an installation by Elmgreen and Dragset, which is a Prada store in the middle of the desert with handbags and shoes in it. It's supposed to just melt back into the landscape as it ages, but because we have bad luck, it was empty and being cleaned when we were there.


    Two thumbs down!


    We saw this border patrol blimp on our way back!

    That night, we stayed in Hotel Paisano, where James Dean, Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson and crew stayed while filming Giant. The best part? We got to catch the True Blood premiere. YEEEAAAHH! More on Marfa to come...
  • July 02, 07:32 AM

    On the Road and Sonora Caverns, TX

    The drive from Austin to Marfa was a silly 8 hours, but there was a lot to look at on the way.


    In the Hill Country, the road was rolling and totally open.


    We saw oil pumps


    Cows that had escaped the fence


    And nothing but green fields and blue skies.

    Five hours into our drive, we got to the heavily advertised Caverns of Sonora. We decided to take a break and check out some natural beauty. I had never been in a cavern before, and wasn't sure what to expect.




    Certainly not bacon, but here it is!

    Unfortunately, our terrifying guard dog wasn't allowed in, so we had to lock him up!!

  • July 01, 11:12 PM

    Austin, TX

    I was excited to roll into Austin because as you may or may not know, my white twin Annalise lives there!

    Unfortunately, I was so excited to be there, I forgot to take pictures of us together :(

    We got there on June 14th, and checked into the great Austin Motel


    and Anni soon joined us on South Congress street. We did plenty of shopping and hung out in Uncommon Objects for a while. The store is amazing and we probably could have spent all day in there (in fact, we went back the next day...). Pictures wouldn't do this shop justice... it's a very well curated shop where every nook is crammed with fun old treasures.

    Of course, we ate at the famous food trailers (although maybe not as many as we wanted...). We got a delicious Arnold Palmer slushie and since it was so hot out, decided to get Freddie a chicken sno cone. It was horribly disgusting to look at and to smell, and Freddie agreed

    We ended up donating the doggie sno cone to a busker's dog, who appreciated it more than our spoiled pup.

    We also stopped by the Mighty Cone, where everything comes in a cone and everything is delicious



    Our bellies full, we all decided to go to the Anarchy Wrestling Championships. We sat and drank Lone Stars and PBRs while people pummeled each other mere yards from our face. It was absurd.




    We saw girls wrestling, a cowboy, a Pope / Big Baby, some loosely woven narrative, and the best part - the hecklers. They were amazing. A + work, hecklers. We actually had to leave because it went from entertaining to disturbing, what with all the staplers in the head and chairs to the back...

    But anyways!! The rest of the Austin trip included kayaking in the river, eating so much delicious food, and one of the best things ever : the amazing and gigantic Whole Foods. We wandered the 80,000 square foot store totally agog. Totes wish we had a Whole Foods in Portsmouth, but my bank account is happy there isnt :)


    We had one last lunch (and lunch margarita) with Anni before we started on the long road to Marfa.
  • June 28, 08:35 PM

    Houston

    I think I'm beginning to block out the more harrowing parts of this trip. Michelle claims it took us most of the day to drive across Louisiana and apparently we did so without A/C in the van. I have no recollection. I do remember getting into Houston late at night and driving all the way across the city to the beeeeaaauuuutiful Red Roof Inn: another night too hot and humid to suffer in the van. We had an inexplicable craving for pizza, so as all the pizza joints began to close for the evening, we found one about a half hour away willing to wait for us.


    Utilizing Houston's INSANE highway system, we managed to make it in time. I don't think I ever tried to imagine what Houston would look like, but I did not anticipate all the concrete and 12 lane super highways. It's actually quite impressive and the first indication to us that everything is indeed, bigger in Texas.


    On the agenda the next morning was a meeting with Karen and Alberto of Greener Grass Design. They run a beautiful and well-curated web store from their home/workshop/warehouse in Houston. We had a lovely discussion about art, design, Houston, Texas, dogs, and road-tripping. They suggested I also meet with Steve at Peel Gallery (photo above). Another great talk with a super nice dude, on a cold call this time. It's always nerve-racking to approach a gallery owner, especially knowing how often they must have to deal with people like me wanting to look at their work. Looks like there are Texas opportunities on the horizon, though. Psyched.


    Business taken care of, we went downtown looking for art. The Menil museum did not buy Michelle's suggestion that Freddie was a service dog helping her deal with her "extreme anxiety," so he waited in the shade while we browsed their nice but somewhat random collection. This is a photo of Michelle in front of the building and there is a little boy robot on the roof playing a toy drum. OMG, art is weird!!!


    Just down the street was the Rothko Chapel which I super loved. Such a peaceful place. Everyone should go. I'd go once a week if I lived in Houston.




    For whatever reason, I had my mind set on possibly surfing in Galveston. We took a drive down which lasted longer than the time we actually spent there. What a trash basket, sorry, Galvestonians. Another Tim and Michelle cranky disapproving faces picture.


    I like this picture of Michelle's hair.



    We blasted out of there back up to Houston because we forgot to stop at The Orange Show. Soooo glad we went back. Our bellies full of delicious Tacos del Julio, we settled into some tractor seats for Thao and Mirah with the Most of All. It would take me a while to explain what The Orange Show is so you should check out the link. And look at these pictures.








    Next stop: Austin!
  • June 25, 11:02 PM

    Swamp Tour

    On our second day in New Orleans, we were kind of at a loss. Shopping? Sure, we had done some shopping. Drinking? Sure, we had done some drinking. Flashing? Sure, we had done some flashing. But, what now? Timmy came up with the best idea. SWAMP TOUR! Because when we think of Louisiana we think about toothless Cajuns, alligators, and fan boats!


    This is the sight that greeted us as soon as we walked into the building.


    Our bellies full of delicious sandwiches from Cochon Butcher (I had their version of a Cuban sandwich and Tim had the pork belly with cucumber...mmm), we were ready to blast around the bayou.


    A fan boat is a silly thing, and one that neither of us had been on before. It's incredibly loud and feels completely different than riding in a normal boat. It was one of those 115 on the heat index days, so it felt great to have that breeze.

    Soon, we were in the swamp, and spoiler alert, the swamp looks like how you think a swamp looks like.


    It's beautiful, but also stifling, and a bit scary.

    We were immediately on the look out for gators and didn't see any. BUT! We soon made a turn and stopped the boat. The captain told us he was going to get gator bait, and when he came back, he was holding... marshmallows???

    Apparently, gators are attracted to white things, and they just ate them up. As soon as we stopped, we began to see the wakes of a few alligators making a beeline for us.


    Then, they were right up next to the boat and jumping out of the water, trying to get to the marshmallows.



    Our crazy and awesome captain, who kind of talked like the firefly in The Princess and the Frog (did you guys see that? anyone??) was going to town on these silly gators and grabbing their tails and tapping their snouts. He even passed around a 3 year old baby for us to hold!





    Going on an airboat was super fun and touristy and definitely something we had never done before. Even if he had to wear silly protective gear.

Posts

  • August 30, 07:00 PM

    August 30

    9:39 a.m.

    A caller complained that a singer at the farmer’s market was too loud, but an officer found it was not unreasonable.

    1:44 p.m.

    Verbal warning given to someone in a motorized wheelchair who was recharging his chair using someone else’s electricity.

  • August 24, 11:38 PM

    August 20

    7:23 p.m.

    Responded to Gosling Meadows for a report about a domestic disturbance. An officer found people playing a video game and no crime.

    August 18

    3:41 p.m.

    Responded to Bow Street for a complaint about juveniles drinking wine. Officer found the wine but no youths.

    1:45 p.m.

    An elderly resident who frequently calls 911 and hangs up, did so again and when dispatch returned her call, the resident said she wanted the phone number for the cemetery because three people were missing from her house.

  • August 19, 02:02 AM

    August 14

    9:54 a.m.

    An elderly resident phoned 911 to ask for a ride to the store.

    7:12 p.m.

    Report taken on Holiday Drive following a report about a fight during which someone was slapped.

  • August 13, 11:41 AM

    August 10

    7:55 a.m.

    Dispatched the animal control officer to Peirce Island for “an aggressive squirrel.”

  • August 06, 11:37 AM

    August 4

    11:20 a.m.

    Report taken about the theft of lobsters and a bucket.

    6:26 p.m.

    Responded to Lafayette Road for a report of a woman screaming at a child. An officer found it was a 3-year-old not sitting still while having gum removed from her hair.

    11:37 p.m.

    An elderly resident who often calls 911 and hangs up made two 911 hang-up calls and when a dispatcher called back, the resident asked if the 911 operator had any jokes.

  • August 04, 03:47 PM

    August 2

    11:23 a.m.

    A Union Street resident reported her car was vandalized with “a lot of food.”

    6:18 p.m.

    A caller said she wanted to speak to someone about a bus company, then screamed “just forget it” and hung up.

  • August 03, 07:21 PM

    August 1

    7:01 a.m.

    A woman phoned 911 to say she needed to know what time it was.

  • August 01, 12:49 PM

    July 28

    7:05 p.m.

    A Lafayette Road caller said he asked a man to get out of his trash bin, but the man refused.

  • July 12, 01:53 AM

    July 7

    9:12 a.m.

    Investigated a report about cars parked in the police parking lot and discovered they were unmarked state police cruisers.

  • July 06, 01:27 PM

    June 23

    9:30 a.m.

    A State Street property owner asked police to take note of “the skateboarding community” using a new railing to board.

  • June 12, 09:09 AM

    May 30

    9:39 p.m.

    Euthanized via firearm a raccoon attacking cars in the area of Bartlett Street.

  • May 30, 04:04 PM

    May 25

    5:52 a.m.

    A caller reported an injured seagull bleeding on Woodbury Avenue.

  • May 19, 08:07 AM

    May 16

    10:41 p.m.

    Reunited a backpack with owner.

  • May 12, 10:34 PM

    May 10

    3:33 p.m.

    Responded to Lincoln Ave. for a report of a cat acting “strange.” Officer found the cat was “just very old.”

    10:27 p.m.

    Investigated a report about suspicious people in a car parked on Marcy Street and found young adults “enjoying their evening and some hot wings.”


  • May 10, 05:16 PM

    May 8

    1:38 p.m.

    Took a report from a Park Street caller about a man who stopped by a home and “asked to come in to see if there was anything in (the) cellar” that could be sold to his company.

  • May 06, 11:45 PM

    May 3

    11:57 p.m.

    Responded to Wedgewood Drive where a female was “flipping out” during a verbal argument about facebook postings. 

  • May 06, 12:10 AM

    April 22

    1:38 p.m.

    Report taken from a caller who stated his wife was poisoning him with magic and he would like a report.